Let's live full out.

This is my blog. I’ve attempted to keep a blog once before and was extremely unsuccessful in doing so, but according to the results of my personality type test and a therapist I saw once, writing is supposed to be very good for me. With that in mind, I’ve decided to try and give it another go. It’s probably going to take up most of my Sunday just to write this. Luckily, I have absolutely no plans today. It’s also rainy and cold outside for the second day in a row. I don’t especially enjoy being outside when it’s rainy and cold for the second day in a row.

Not too long ago I read a book written by Anne Lamott (LOVE her!) named “Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life” I remember in the book she had said something like, “good writing is about telling the truth.” I am definitely not trying to create “good writing”, but I think that telling the truth is something that would obviously be very beneficial for me. Sometimes, I’m not very honest. I don’t think I go around telling lies anymore than a normal human being would, I guess, but I’m still not very honest. I usually keep everything that I’m feeling that isn’t so happy or easy to deal with to myself. Way deep down inside of myself. So much so that it’s hard for me to even acknowledge that those feelings even exist. They do exist, though. I have gotten pretty freaking good at repressing bad feelings.

I kept a journal when I moved to Atlanta for the first few months, and I would try to be honest with myself, and it felt good. The few times that I would actually try to write my monthly newsletters instead of just copying off another teammate or just filling up the page with quotes of what someone else said, those times felt good. That’s why I’m going to try this whole blog thing again. I need to be honest with myself, and with the people I know, and with God. It seems almost impossible for me to be vulnerable and honest most of the time. I’m still trying not to hide. Maybe this could help.

So, I’m about to start a “new chapter” of my life. New house, new roommates, newish friends, newish town, new school, new job, new church, all that. I’m very excited about it all. I am still struggling with things like, where I’d rather be living and what I’d rather be doing, but I still can’t shake the feeling that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to at the moment. I’m really looking forward to what God has planned for me in my future, but for now I’m going to be living in College Station and I’m going to be attending Blinn Community College, and I honestly don’t think it’s going to be all that bad. :)

I’m ready to learn, grow, live full out, study history and sociology, possibly sell toys and books if I get that job, paint a room, go thrifting, drink waffle lattes, meet new people, be vulnerable, and stop hiding. I really am very thankful that I’m a constant work in progress. God has been providing for me very well. Hopefully I made sense and hopefully this won‘t be my last blog post.

Peace and Love.