It digs deeper and deeper each day.
"My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
Glory to God in the church! Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus! Glory down all the generations! Glory through all millennia! Amen."
- Ephesians 2:14-21 (the msg)
Jesus, help us to shout out the Good News,
with our voices and with our lives,
and with both feet planted firmly on Love.
3.22.2011
Serious as a heart attack.
A crazy amount of things have been going on lately and I could probably write a seperate lengthy blog about each of them, but I don't really want to do that! So here is a little update of events and thoughts that I have had over the past few weeks:
- My good friend and former roommate in Atlanta, Nadine, is currently experiencing the loss of a parent. Her mother, Ruby, passed away last week. I only got to meet Ruby once and only spent a short time with her, but even in that short time it didn't take me long to learn that she was such a beautiful, outgoing, and kind person. Just like her daughter! I can't even begin to imagine what Nadine and her family must be feeling right now. Please pray for God's peace and love over them.
- Early Saturday morning my dad was rushed to the hospital for chest pains. Apparently he had a heart attack and he's been in the hospital ever since doing random tests, and today they have told us that he is going to have a double bypass surgery tomorrow. All of the doctors and nurses have been telling us how lucky Dad is to have survived it. It truly is a blessing that he came in on Saturday before it was too late for them to help him. Dad seems to be doing fine, just annoyed that he has to be here! I've been spending a lot of the time here at the hospital with him and it's been a crazy few days. If you could please pray for my Dad's surgery tomorrow, and for a speedy recovery! He is tired of laying in bed! :)
- Since Dad has been in the hospital, my Grandma Shirley (his mom) has come in for back surgery and my little cousin Pate came in because he broke his hand beating a kid up. It's a big sick/injured family reunion at St. Joe's! :)
- Neal Park Potluck has quickly become the favorite part of my week. There is a potluck at Neal Park in downtown Bryan every Saturday (5:00) and Sunday (1:00) that anyone and everyone is invited to. You can bring food if you're able to, and of course everyone can enjoy and eat the food! I've made tons of friends already in the past month and I've been slowly learning how to play 42. Sometimes we play some weird game of volleyball and there is a couple that breaks out some intstruments and plays some good tunes. I always have such a good time! You should come. :)
- A few times a week some friends and I meet up super early in the morning to make breakfast tacos and then take them out to the men who are waiting for jobs downtown. It's been so great meeting the guys and learning some Spanish from them. It's also always a super fun experience making breakfast with these crazy people at 6:00 in the morning. :)
- "We write to and visit our brothers and sisters on death row. You can join us! We meet to discuss, encourage each other, write to our friends, coordinate visits and share experiences. We are open to different ideas for how to be friends with people on death row." This is the description of the group that I have joined with some friends called Friends of Death Row Inmates. We had a first meeting last Wednesday and it was absolutely hilarious. I will write more about it in the future, I'm sure.
- Yesterday I got a cheap flip phone and gave my fancy schmancy phone to my Mom. I'm hoping that now I will spend less time on my phone and more time doing...other things. It's already working because I can barely text with this t9 stuff! :) It also makes it way more difficult for me to do Facebook and Twitter stuff. I think it will be great for me. I've been trying to minimalize a lot of the material things in my life lately and I figured this is another way that I could do it. I need to be prepared for when I go and live in a cave. :) Also I have lost several numbers so text me yours just in case if you want me to have it!
- I've been thinking about not continuing school after this semester is over. I really don't enjoy it, and I know that most people don't, but I honestly have no idea why I'm even in school and it feels like I'm wasting my time. Some friends and family and even my parents are encouraging me to stop going to school and to find something else that I would really love. A lot of friends have been encouraging me to stay in school as well. I'm still undecided. I just keep thinking about what Dr. King said, "You don't have to have a college degree to serve." :)
- I'm still jobless and it's been a drag trying to find one. Please pray that I will find one somehow and soon! I really need one, especially now that my dad won't be able to work overtime for a while and therefore won't get paid as much as usual to help support me and the rest of my family.
- I want to be in a relationship with someone only if our being together is benefitting others in some way. I'm definitely not in a hurry to be in one right now, so if he really cared then he wouldn't mind waiting. :) So thanks for the concerns, random friends and family members, but it's all about the friendship at the moment and I am completely content with that. Marriage is not and will not be the focal point of my life. Just saying.
- My sleeping schedule has been so whack lately! Sleep deprivation for sure.
- Freestyle flowin' has become a hobby of mine.
- Like I have said before, I just want to be used to my full potential. I pray to God that I will be used completely for His will in every second of every day of my life. In Mission Year they always told us to basically ask ourselves this question every time we are making a decision: "How can I best love God and love people in this moment?" I thought it was a little cheesy back then, but I catch myself thinking it more often now than ever. Thank you, God.
So maybe this wasn't as short of an update as I thought it was going to be. Whoops. Also I scanned through it and noticed that I have unintentionally put an intense number of smiley faces randomly throughout the posts. That's about right. :) I am thankful and joyful and blessed even throughout the difficult times and without much sleep. God truly is good and I am the worst blog writer in the world. :)
Peace and Love.
- My good friend and former roommate in Atlanta, Nadine, is currently experiencing the loss of a parent. Her mother, Ruby, passed away last week. I only got to meet Ruby once and only spent a short time with her, but even in that short time it didn't take me long to learn that she was such a beautiful, outgoing, and kind person. Just like her daughter! I can't even begin to imagine what Nadine and her family must be feeling right now. Please pray for God's peace and love over them.
- Early Saturday morning my dad was rushed to the hospital for chest pains. Apparently he had a heart attack and he's been in the hospital ever since doing random tests, and today they have told us that he is going to have a double bypass surgery tomorrow. All of the doctors and nurses have been telling us how lucky Dad is to have survived it. It truly is a blessing that he came in on Saturday before it was too late for them to help him. Dad seems to be doing fine, just annoyed that he has to be here! I've been spending a lot of the time here at the hospital with him and it's been a crazy few days. If you could please pray for my Dad's surgery tomorrow, and for a speedy recovery! He is tired of laying in bed! :)
- Since Dad has been in the hospital, my Grandma Shirley (his mom) has come in for back surgery and my little cousin Pate came in because he broke his hand beating a kid up. It's a big sick/injured family reunion at St. Joe's! :)
- Neal Park Potluck has quickly become the favorite part of my week. There is a potluck at Neal Park in downtown Bryan every Saturday (5:00) and Sunday (1:00) that anyone and everyone is invited to. You can bring food if you're able to, and of course everyone can enjoy and eat the food! I've made tons of friends already in the past month and I've been slowly learning how to play 42. Sometimes we play some weird game of volleyball and there is a couple that breaks out some intstruments and plays some good tunes. I always have such a good time! You should come. :)
- A few times a week some friends and I meet up super early in the morning to make breakfast tacos and then take them out to the men who are waiting for jobs downtown. It's been so great meeting the guys and learning some Spanish from them. It's also always a super fun experience making breakfast with these crazy people at 6:00 in the morning. :)
- "We write to and visit our brothers and sisters on death row. You can join us! We meet to discuss, encourage each other, write to our friends, coordinate visits and share experiences. We are open to different ideas for how to be friends with people on death row." This is the description of the group that I have joined with some friends called Friends of Death Row Inmates. We had a first meeting last Wednesday and it was absolutely hilarious. I will write more about it in the future, I'm sure.
- Yesterday I got a cheap flip phone and gave my fancy schmancy phone to my Mom. I'm hoping that now I will spend less time on my phone and more time doing...other things. It's already working because I can barely text with this t9 stuff! :) It also makes it way more difficult for me to do Facebook and Twitter stuff. I think it will be great for me. I've been trying to minimalize a lot of the material things in my life lately and I figured this is another way that I could do it. I need to be prepared for when I go and live in a cave. :) Also I have lost several numbers so text me yours just in case if you want me to have it!
- I've been thinking about not continuing school after this semester is over. I really don't enjoy it, and I know that most people don't, but I honestly have no idea why I'm even in school and it feels like I'm wasting my time. Some friends and family and even my parents are encouraging me to stop going to school and to find something else that I would really love. A lot of friends have been encouraging me to stay in school as well. I'm still undecided. I just keep thinking about what Dr. King said, "You don't have to have a college degree to serve." :)
- I'm still jobless and it's been a drag trying to find one. Please pray that I will find one somehow and soon! I really need one, especially now that my dad won't be able to work overtime for a while and therefore won't get paid as much as usual to help support me and the rest of my family.
- I want to be in a relationship with someone only if our being together is benefitting others in some way. I'm definitely not in a hurry to be in one right now, so if he really cared then he wouldn't mind waiting. :) So thanks for the concerns, random friends and family members, but it's all about the friendship at the moment and I am completely content with that. Marriage is not and will not be the focal point of my life. Just saying.
- My sleeping schedule has been so whack lately! Sleep deprivation for sure.
- Freestyle flowin' has become a hobby of mine.
- Like I have said before, I just want to be used to my full potential. I pray to God that I will be used completely for His will in every second of every day of my life. In Mission Year they always told us to basically ask ourselves this question every time we are making a decision: "How can I best love God and love people in this moment?" I thought it was a little cheesy back then, but I catch myself thinking it more often now than ever. Thank you, God.
So maybe this wasn't as short of an update as I thought it was going to be. Whoops. Also I scanned through it and noticed that I have unintentionally put an intense number of smiley faces randomly throughout the posts. That's about right. :) I am thankful and joyful and blessed even throughout the difficult times and without much sleep. God truly is good and I am the worst blog writer in the world. :)
Peace and Love.
3.17.2011
Recapture.
"Take this rule: whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off your relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself."
- Susanna Wesley (Letter, June 8, 1725)
The "innocence" of it can be so tricky. I need prayers.
Loving kindness, tender patience, wisdom and responsibility.
These are things that I desperately need to recapture.
Father, forgive me.
These are things that I desperately need to recapture.
Father, forgive me.
"My flesh and my heart may fail,
but the Lord is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever." - Psalm 73:26
3.10.2011
To be a revolutionary,
You cannot love money
or the things it brings,
though the years will come
when you will think
all your sacrifices
for the cause
entitle you to something
(now the seductive part-
what, really, do you deserve
for choosing that which is right?)
You cannot love power
or influence. Not its raw forms-
the fawning we offer the famous;
the heady decisions put in your kind hands for “the voiceless”-
but also not its subtle disguises:
someone offering the best seat at the table;
gushing (I wish I could do what you…):
sitting at your feet to listen to
your wise, radical words.
Some contend it is best
not to love too much
a lover, child, hearth,
though that passion might be what
first sends you into the churning night;
and these same can also
give you back your soul.
Revolution is hard on loved ones.
You cannot embrace certainty.
She is sure to betray,
smothering you in
her black and white robe
until you will not be able
to grasp the unfolding of even
one intricate human heart.
or the things it brings,
though the years will come
when you will think
all your sacrifices
for the cause
entitle you to something
(now the seductive part-
what, really, do you deserve
for choosing that which is right?)
You cannot love power
or influence. Not its raw forms-
the fawning we offer the famous;
the heady decisions put in your kind hands for “the voiceless”-
but also not its subtle disguises:
someone offering the best seat at the table;
gushing (I wish I could do what you…):
sitting at your feet to listen to
your wise, radical words.
Some contend it is best
not to love too much
a lover, child, hearth,
though that passion might be what
first sends you into the churning night;
and these same can also
give you back your soul.
Revolution is hard on loved ones.
You cannot embrace certainty.
She is sure to betray,
smothering you in
her black and white robe
until you will not be able
to grasp the unfolding of even
one intricate human heart.
Conviction, on the other hand,
will be the staff in your right hand.
She is relentless for justice
and endlessly patient.
She can smell out
water in the desert.
Be wary of movements
with their slippery entourage-
pecking orders, coalitions,
influence, compromise,
wealth, power-
though revolutions often find
themselves trying to enter
by that narrow gate,
and perhaps one or two
have survived intact.
Every day, oh warrior of change,
ask yourself:
who is growing your crops,
cooking your food,
receiving your waste,
caring for your father, mother,
son, daughter? Who
is maintaining
the infrastructure
of your revolutionary life (oh luxury
of single-mindedness)
while you save the world?
The baptized God-son
named the Beloved
by the banks of the Jordan
left that place to go wandering forty days
in the desert.
To bring him low,
the tempter offered three things-
bread, spiritual influence, political power-
each cloaked in the Word
(what seductress is greater
than religious righteousness?)
Three times that beloved one
rebuked the tempter
until at last he was left alone
among the angels and wild beasts,
to stare at an old tree
against the sky.
He made that long journey
so that you too might
learn your name-
beloved-
and understand:
heroics were never needed;
no sacrifice to prove oneself
worthy.
Go out, I tell you,
and stare into the night,
heavy & luminous
with stars, streetlights,
the drone of moving things
(buses, cicadas). Go Out.
At dawn, find one shaft of light
in which to wrap your broken self.
Touch this love
until it
makes you weep.
Start from there.
- Dee Dee Risher
- - - - A friend sent that to me today. I thought it was interesting and worth sharing. :)
will be the staff in your right hand.
She is relentless for justice
and endlessly patient.
She can smell out
water in the desert.
Be wary of movements
with their slippery entourage-
pecking orders, coalitions,
influence, compromise,
wealth, power-
though revolutions often find
themselves trying to enter
by that narrow gate,
and perhaps one or two
have survived intact.
Every day, oh warrior of change,
ask yourself:
who is growing your crops,
cooking your food,
receiving your waste,
caring for your father, mother,
son, daughter? Who
is maintaining
the infrastructure
of your revolutionary life (oh luxury
of single-mindedness)
while you save the world?
The baptized God-son
named the Beloved
by the banks of the Jordan
left that place to go wandering forty days
in the desert.
To bring him low,
the tempter offered three things-
bread, spiritual influence, political power-
each cloaked in the Word
(what seductress is greater
than religious righteousness?)
Three times that beloved one
rebuked the tempter
until at last he was left alone
among the angels and wild beasts,
to stare at an old tree
against the sky.
He made that long journey
so that you too might
learn your name-
beloved-
and understand:
heroics were never needed;
no sacrifice to prove oneself
worthy.
Go out, I tell you,
and stare into the night,
heavy & luminous
with stars, streetlights,
the drone of moving things
(buses, cicadas). Go Out.
At dawn, find one shaft of light
in which to wrap your broken self.
Touch this love
until it
makes you weep.
Start from there.
- Dee Dee Risher
- - - - A friend sent that to me today. I thought it was interesting and worth sharing. :)
Am I a fool for putting all of my trust in Jesus?
Well, I'm inclined to say so, but without this hope, I'm dead.
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