I have been thinking about school a lot lately. I really do not enjoy school. I'm currently trying to decide whether or not I will continue going to school after this semester. Whenever I tell people about how I'm thinking about quitting school, usually the responses go something like this: "Totally. You should do what you want." or "You need to keep going to school. You'll make more money with a degree." I am definitely not interested in making more money, but yesterday I was reminded that I was born into this life of privileges and benefits and maybe I should be taking advantage of that. I was blessed to be able to receive a great basic education, which is so important and there are so many schools in America full of children who are being deprived of that. I remember while I was in Atlanta trying to help a 7-year-old child who was about to go into the first grade write in his journal, and I realized he had no idea how to read or spell a single word. He did not even know the alphabet. I'm pretty sure I learned the alphabet whenever I was at least three years old. When I was helping Keyon during the school year, I noticed he was basically unable to pronounce even the simplest words as he was reading, and he was in the third grade. I was never aware of how truly blessed I was to have been able to go to school in Franklin before I met those amazing kids. They are so full of potential, but the school system has failed them so badly. They did not do a single thing to be born into that life, just like I did not do a single thing to be born into my life. But I was born into this life for a reason. I still do not have the slightest clue of what I'm supposed to really be doing with my life, but I know that I want to be used to my full potential and I want to be able to serve God and people to the best of my ability, and maybe that means finishing school. If I continue on with school, it will take me SO LONG to get a degree and be finished, and I'm really not even sure if I should stay working towards a Sociology degree, because I don't even know what I'm going to do with that anyway. God has definitely given me a passion for serving people, especially the poor, and I know that I want to do that with my life, but I am not sure how or what it's supposed to look like yet. I could still definitely serve without a college degree. I would seriously love to hear any opinions or comments about this, if you have any. Prayers would be appreciated. :)
Besides all of that, I am doing so well. I have been noticing God's beauty in so many different and new ways. I wake up most mornings super stoked to start a new day. I mean, I have just really been filled with so much joy and content. I laugh all of the time, but that's not really anything new. :) Of course, I still get distracted. I used to really beat myself up when I would think that I didn't completely show the image of God in myself in some situation or something, or if I let my anxieties or insecurities get the best of me, but lately I have been able to accept the fact that I am human. I am not even close to being perfect, but I have been given forgiveness and grace, and they will take the place of what I owe. I am realizing that even with all of the ugly, nasty injustices in the world and sin inside of me, that God is truly making everything work together for good. God has been putting some really inspiring and passionate people in my life for me to meet and get to know. I'm SO thankful and glad that He is in control of my wonderful and wild life because I have no idea what I'm doing, but I trust the He knows what He is doing. It's not supposed to be about me anyway! :) Yeah, that paragraph is all over the place but I'm still just gonna leave it like that. Deal with it.
Also, today I went for a run to ponder over these same intense thoughts. As I was jogging, I looked down at my feet for maybe two seconds at the most and at the exact moment that I looked up, the awesome breeze had carried this pretty large empty plastic flower pot container deal up and it nailed me right in the face. I kind of stopped running and screamed a little, and then completely stopped to take a few seconds to try to comprehend what just happened, and then I busted out with laughter and walked home. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry that I'm the worst blog writer ever. I love you all!
Peace and Love.
